Three siblings aged nine, five and three. Confused. Nervous. Overwhelmed. Nothing to call their own except what?s in their suitcase. Reeling from the death of their mother in a car accident that left their father in a coma. Dropped into a home with four children. New house. New school. New rules. Now what?
That?s my family?s story. Although the specific circumstances change, the emotions don?t. For many children placed in foster care, their lives can feel like a snow globe. Everything inside the bubble just got turned upside down and shaken up.
Here in Canada, there are approximately 76,000 children in care for a variety of reasons. Sometimes Children?s Aid or the courts may have placed children for their protection; other times parents or caregivers may have surrendered the child. Sometimes there?s a situation in the home ? for example, spousal abuse ? that puts the child at risk. In our case, it was the death of one parent and inability of the other to care for them that brought us together.
My parents had adopted a child two years earlier, so they were able to contact their social worker who took the necessary steps to connect us. We were an ordinary family ? parents, sisters, a brother, a dog. We lived in a nice house my father and grandfather had built and my mom had made it a home. We were really nothing special.
That?s important. We weren?t extraordinary. People often comment how amazing my parents were to take in ?so many kids?. And although I?m sure we all made small sacrifices over the years, we?re just like you.
A foster home can be the first step in turning a child?s life around. A stable, nurturing environment goes a long way to repairing the damage caused by turmoil or neglect. Because of their history, foster children are at higher risk for emotional or?behavioral?problems. We had an amazing social worker who was kind, compassionate and worked tirelessly to ensure our family had access to support and any resources we needed.
If you?re considering foster parenting, there is a lot to think through. To begin with, you?ll need space, an open mind, and some realistic expectations. Some of the children in care have been taken from the only home they?ve known, others have bounced around and been in several. You?re a stranger. It will take time to build trust and a relationship. Some of the children will demonstrate?behaviors?built around what they?ve experienced ? aggression, lying, manipulating or even food hoarding.
But, with all that comes the opportunity to save a life. Every child deserves to know they are loved, they have value and they have potential. Wounds can eventually heal, and people can change.
You don?t have to be a modern day Mother Theresa to reach out and provide a home to a child in need.
Remember, not all super heroes wear capes.
Contact your local Children?s Aid Society or Family and Children?s Services to determine if foster parenting is a good option for you.
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